I joined Clare in her bi-annual trek to church this morning. We went to our local catholic church, St Brendan's. It is a beautiful church and the congregation is mostly young and relaxed. I always feel at peace when I am in a church or other place of worship. Even though I am not a believer in religion, I always appreciate the experience.
However, I have to admit that I was a little nervous as I approached the church. Being a place of worship I believe that they have a force field of good around them that keeps out heretics. Being a non-catholic and having committed a number of transgressions to the dogma in the previous week, I wasn't sure if I would be allowed to enter. I closed my eyes and prayed (I do believe in God) as I approached. To my alarm as I was about to enter I felt a force pulling me back. I turned around with some trepidation to see that it was only Joshua tugging at my T-shirt so he could get in before me. To my relief I was able to enter the church without any further obstructions.
I had further cause for alarm did-way through the ceremony when the priest started to walk down the aisle with an acolyte. I noticed that he was waving a stick as he passed the congregation and I realised to my horror that he was sprinkling the congregation with holy water. I am sure that you have all seen holy water burning the skin of vampires and other agents of evil like acid would burn the skin of humans. Now I know I am not evil, but I have never come into contact with holy water and as such I was again a little wary as the priest approached me. I gritted my teeth bravely and braced myself as I felt the holy water fall on my face and arms. Thankfully there was no burning sensation and all I felt was the cooling sensation of the water. I can't be as bad as Clare makes me out to be :-)
My final awkward moment happened towards the end of the ceremony. Not being a regular church-goer, I hadn't remembered to take coins along and when the collection approached me I only had a $5 note to put in the basket. As I placed my note in there, a few people looked at me with curiosity and I am sure that at least one young lady looked at me with speculation in her eyes. Seeing my puzzled look, Clare explained to me that most people gave a few coins to the collection, keeping the big donations for those occasions when they have strayed far from the path of the pious. I think this can be a tip for those single guys out there. Next time you go to church, place yourselves next to an attractive gal who is there by themselves and put a big donation into the collection basket. You never know what might happen.........
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